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Monday, October 27, 2014

You Can and You Are

When the boy was in the NICU, I had a 20-30 minute drive to and from the hospital each day. The first week we were able to board at the hospital, but after that, we had to go back and forth. I made sure I got there each morning before rounds, stayed for the day, then headed home before rush hour. The honey-bunch would head over after work and take the evening shift.

Each day, I would drive home in a fog. Some days in tears. It seemed like each day there would be more bad news or more unanswered questions. Through my tears, I prayed, "God, please, I can't handle this. Please. I can't handle anything else." But the next day, there would be more bad news, more questions, more tears.

Then one day, as I drove home in tears and made my daily plea, it hit me. I was handling it. I was there. I was surviving. I was doing it.

I actually started laughing, and my prayer changed, "Fine. I get it now. I CAN do this. But could you just let up a little? Okay? Please?"

The next day, things were a little better.

So if you are going through something right now that you feel you can't handle it, know this… You can  and you are.

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