I wasn't going to write today. I was felling guilty because I just wrote in my last post about how I was going to go on a diet from negativity, and I feel like a big old ball of negative energy right now. But, I also said I was going to write as a way to explore and honor my feelings. Tonight that sentiment wins.
Tomorrow The Boy has an appointment with a specialist at Shriners regarding possible spinal surgery to correct his scoliosis. I made the appointment in December. I was supposed to track down medical records and previous MRIs and CT scans. I didn't. To top it off, I completely misplaced the packet of information they sent that I was supposed to complete. It's GONE. I looked everywhere I can think to look today, and can't find it anywhere. I feel like an idiot.
Often I'm praised as being a "Great Mom" and bequeathed platitudes about how God chose me, and how special I am, and what a blessing it is, and blah… blah… blah…
Guess what? I'm so NOT.
Right now I'm a sucky mom who lost the paperwork. I'm the mom who procrastinated on finding pertinent medical information. I'm the mom who is going to show up tomorrow in front of the world-renowned orthopedic surgeon, who also happens to be a neurosurgeon (so, you know, he's probably slightly intelligent) and say, "Whoops! I dropped the ball!"
Today is one of the days when I want to quit my job because it's not the job I applied for. I applied for the position of "Fun Awesome Mom" not the "Mom/Therapist/Care Coordinator/Insurance Expert/Medical Expert/Advocate/Etc" position. Where's the recruiter? Who do I talk to in HR about this?
Funny thing is though… I actually was a recruiter before I got this job of being a mom. And in every position that I advertised, the last line in the job description always said, "Other duties as assigned." Shit.
Maybe the other duties I got with The Boy weren't the ones I expected, and they are definitely duties that sometimes make me want to write the resignation letter to end all resignation letters. But I don't. I love him more than I hate my job, and love always wins.
So on that note, I better get some sleep. I've got a big day at work tomorrow.
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